


Picnic

by korik



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drabble, Dress Up, F/M, Gen, Hhaani Tabris, Humor, I was trying to make this funny but it came out more cissexist, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, heterosexist humor, my favorite character to write is Alistair, worst trap in existence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korik/pseuds/korik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: a romantic picnic goes horribly wrong</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picnic

**Author's Note:**

> For who, for whom!? I MUST KNOW, ANON. Okay, I will just call it my lady Tabris and Alistair. Because I can. How Alistair managed to get a picnic going - wait. WAIT. I have THE STUPIDEST IDEA. Here goes!

"When I said I was drawing the line at wearing a dress, and not even the King could get it out of me, I meant it - " Alistair hissed as he sat awkwardly in the glen of the forest, his face flushed in enough red to match the charming array of rouge that had been mooshed onto his lips, sitting in what was certainly an uncomfortable wired up dress with enough layers to put a cake to shame. There was a dashing bit of ribbons to accent the low neckline, ruffles a-plenty to make any court lady jealous.

The enormous tree branches above him, like a great beast reaching out with its claws, hissed in turn, “Shut up! At least you’re not dancing the Remigold, too! The darkspawn would be sure to notice that.”

"Mmn, I don’t know," giggled a softer voice, "perhaps all he needs is a rose now, yeah?"

The blonde man groaned, sneering a little as he grasped at his heart, “Oh, ow - fear my thorns, darkspawn! I shall - “

A cold voice snapped, “Shut up, you moron!”

He flinched, hiding further into his ruffled dress, booted toes hiding under the lengthy dress before mumbling, ” S’not the way to talk to a lady, Morrigan.”

The first voice of before snorted from above, and a leaf swam to the ground slowly. “Take heed, shemlen, this may be our worst idea yet, though for my part, I do enjoy espying into your corset top.”

Alistair gave out a theatrical shriek, clapping his white lace gloved hands over the top part of his dress. “You - you - ! Hhaani!”

Over in her hiding space, Morrigan ground her teeth, but smiled despite herself. This had to be the worst idea for a trap ever, but she had to commend the sheer stupidity of it. After all, it was then sure to work.


End file.
